Chennai jottings...2

The Chennai flower vendor is a usual sight on all street corners in residential areas and more near temples. The vendor is usually an obese/cachectic lady clad in a dirty cotton saree and is especially known for her superior haggling skills. She is helped in her job by her dutiful husband who has to go down on his knees to extract a few bucks out of her to help himself to a 'cutting'* of rum or buy a few beedis.

Come rain or sunshine they can be seen stringing flowers together at their regular spots with an upturned cardboard box that serves as a counter for vending their flowers and one buys a 'muzham' of malli poo/jaadhi/mullai etc over the counter!

A 'muzham' is a measurement of length that is unique to the flower business. It supposedly spans the length from the tip of the right index finger to the cubital fossa (the crease where the arm meets the forearm) of the vendor. Since this varies from person to person and between the sexes, it is usually the femme who measures out the 'muzham' and she sees to it that she bends her palm at the wrist so as to decrease the already miniscule length.

A 'muzham' of malli poo (jasmine) costs anywhere between 3 rupees in the summer to 10 during the rainy season. Ask them why is it costs so much and the ever ready rebuttal would be one of the following:
a) the flowers arent in season no
b) it is raining
c) it is too hot and the flowers get damaged while transportation
d) it is the marriage 'season'
e) it is the festival season

So my dear pals due to the above reasons the quintessential flowers cost a fortune perennially. A usual sight would be thus:

Customeress: "How much do I get for 10 rupees?"

Vendoress(?) nonchalantly: "One and a half muzham"

Customeress as if she has just heard the news that a tsunami has formed in the Indian Ocean and is heading straight towards her house: "What?"

Vendoress: "Yes Ma'am, since it is the festive season, the flowers are in high demand, the going rate at the Koyambedu market is 123456 bucks a kilo."

Customeress: "You people have some lame excuse or the other throughout the year!"

Vendoress: "What to do ma'am, we can give it at subsidised rates only if we can afford it, otherwise we run the risk of a loss. Don't forget ma that I too have three kids to feed"

Customeress: "Ok ok enough of your sad story, give me 2 'muzhams' for 10 bucks.

Vendoress: "No ma, definitely it isnt possible, the rates for the flowers are too high today" (so saying, she measures out the strung flowers on her skinny, short hand)

Customeress: "No, no nothing doing, you haven't taken the right measurement, you have bent your wrist, the flowers are too little, that surely isnt 1 and half muzham"

Vendoress: "No ma, why would I ever cheat, I swear on God that it is the right measurement, see for yourself" (and she runs through the measurement the same as before but a wee bit quicker this time)

Customeress: "For my hand that would be hardly 3/4th of a muzham. Cheri, what else option do I have rather than buying this from you!"

Vendoress: "Inikki adjust pannikko ma, naalaikku rate kammiyaayidum unakku niraya poo tharen." (Kindly adjust today ma'am, tomorrow when the rates go down I shall give you more)

But then...the same thing happens 365 days a year.

There is something to the jasmine flowers that even the ordinary looking Tam girl seems to have a fresh radiance about her once she dons the white flowers on her neatly braided hair. A classical look, a 'homely' look, that right look most Tam males want when they want to take a femme home and tell their Moms: "Ma, this is Nandhini and she is my friend...of late we are contemplating marriage!"



*Cutting: A cutting of any alcoholic drink is 90ml. A 'quarter' pronounced locally as 'kotter' is 180ml, so a cut in 180 is 90. FYI a 'half' is 360 and a 'full' is 720ml.

PS: Actually I wanted to take a pic of the vendoress, but then her possessive husband didnt allow me to and instead wanted his pic taken. Dang! Double dang! ;))))))