My fav beggars/panhandlers!

Question:
Prove that begging and not prostitution is the oldest profession in the world.

Answer:
Actually the first prostitute tried begging and when that didn’t work or when lusty males leered at her and wanted sex, she gave in, haggled over the price of her body and made easy money. (She looked down upon begging thereafter)

Conclusion:
Isn’t it obvious? So there you go...QED

My area-Velachery-as are other places in Chennai, is full of beggars/panhandlers. I am not here to argue whether one should shell out a coin or not give them any thereby 'discouraging' them to beg. I have my personal favourite beggars. (It is very much the same way you guys have fav actors, politicians and cricketers)

There are 3 notable ones and each has a specific area and they will not be found begging outside of their 'fort' and any other panhandler encroaching into theirs will be prosecuted badly with a flurry of words and sometimes even fisticuffs.

The lady near the FoodWorld Supermarket:
She is about 80 (at least looks like that, I've never ventured asking her age, coz I am a prudent male...never ask femmes their age...ask no question and get no lies) She is just a bundle of bones covered in skin, poor thing. What is worse, she has those horrible truncal tremors...tch tch tch...her body (trunk) keeps shaking so violently and she finds it very difficult to walk. Probably she has Parkinson's. Despite her difficulty she approaches every stranger with a plea for money. There is an eatery below the FoodWorld and when garbage from there is thrown into the nearby dustbin she shuffles towards it and bends into it (almost throwing herself inside) searching for something that could be of use.

You would be wondering how such a shaky woman can even reach out her hand to ask for alms. In Parkinson's typically tremors take place when the limbs are at rest as opposed to when there is movement. (Movement decreases the tremors). I don’t fail to give her a coin or two whenever I go to the supermarket. My thoughts go...: Does she have a son or daughter, maybe her son is a nice man and the daughter-in-law shooed her off...maybe her daughter is a nice lady but her son-in-law doesn’t allow her anywhere near the house. Poor she!

The man near the ATM (I am not telling which ATM for fear of being mugged there by you folks):
This man has Hansen's--med term for leprosy. I always imagine him to be Lazarus. He is quiet, has a contented look about him and doesn’t force peeps to give him money. I think of him as a brilliant chap. Maybe he could've become a software professional and coz of the draconian caste based seat reservation system in TN, he narrowly missed out on getting into an engineering college. (These days in TN it is enough if you have secured a 'pass' in the 12th Board eggzams...some colleges have so many seats that aren’t filled up at all).

But sometimes I think he is really stupid...why would I (or for that matter anyone) go to an ATM? Most likely to withdraw money coz I don’t have a pie on me. And when I come out of the ATM, I am not going to have a pocket full of change coz the machine hands out soiled dirty notes as opposed to spanking crisp ones in the times of yore when ATM's were more of a tourist must-see-place and dear hubby took his wifey and daughter along with him into it and explained with an air of importance on how it functions to his kid and better half while I waited patiently outside getting redder as the seconds went by as slow as Ravi Shastri's batting. (Yea it is a wonder that he hit six sixes in an over)

Well, I try to fish a coin from my trouser pocket and meanwhile our man waits with bated breath to see how much I am going to come up with after fiddling in my trouser pockets for a whole 30 seconds. Alas there is only a 25paise coin and I can sense his frustration. He even curses me under his breath. Meanwhile a svelte femme is getting out of the ATM and our man can get a whiff of the heavenly perfume she is wearing and gallops towards her as if he were going to carry her off a la Prithiviraj Chauhan.

I imagine: How would it be if that bugger-beggar went and planted a kiss on her luscious cheeks

The lady near the Temple:
She isn’t a beggar technically. She sits inside the temple compound and on the pretext of watching over the footwear which the devotees leave behind she 'extends her hands', I repeat, 'extends her hands' while the person comes to retrieve his/her footwear. An unofficial footwear valet you could say!

I happily gave this lady a coin almost daily (coz I visit the Temple everyday, I am a holy fellow you see) till the day I saw a scene. I thought she was a destitute (she looks like a right royal hag) but one day her son came to get the morning 'collections' from her! Mother and son were speaking to each other affectionately and that bugger handed over a tiffin box (with food) for her lunch and left after bidding good bye and best wishes. I asked the hag who he was and that is how I know he is her son.

Back at home I told my mom what had happened. My mom nonchalantly: "Didn’t you know that the old hag is the mother in law of our neighbour's servant lady? She has a daughter who is married to a rich man it seems” "Oh dang! These peeps are well 'settled' eh? Hope she isn't married to a H1B visa holder and on a H4 herself” I thought to myself. But even then I don’t refrain from handing over a coin to her. Maybe she is some Goddess who masquerades as an old lady just to test my charitable sense. I have read so many Amar Chithra Katha comics that say God came in a beggar's avatar to test the devotion and charity of devotees. I wouldn’t want to take a risk, so I continue giving my favs a coin or two whenever I see them (rather whenever they panhandle me). I am a miser. Uff!

All you wanted to know about that nagging back pain!

Chronic back pain is a common problem with a large health and social cost. Around a quarter of adults have had back pain in the last month, with one in 40 reporting disabling back or neck pain. Each year around 5% of patients consult their primary care practitioner with back pain, resulting in 137 consultations per 1000 patients. This means a practitioner with 1750 patients will typically see at least one patient with back pain each day.

Facts about back pain:
It's common to see minor abnormalities on x ray films of the lumbar spine. Two randomised studies did not show any benefit in outcome from performing lumbar spine x rays. One found that they have an adverse effect on outcome. They also expose patients to large amounts of radiation.

It's common to see minor abnormalities on magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans of the lumbar spine. This is an expensive investigation that's unlikely to improve the patient's outcome. One randomised controlled trial showed that patients who had an x ray had a similar outcome to patients who had a magnetic resonance imaging scan.

Abnormalities are commonly found on magnetic resonance imaging scans. A review of eight studies of magnetic resonance imaging in asymptomatic adults found:

* Bulging discs in 20% to 79%
* Herniated discs in 9% to 76%
* Degenerative discs in 46% to 91%.

Measuring the ESR or plasma viscosity is the best test for excluding malignancy or ankylosing spondylitis. This costs hardly 20rupees!

Evidence suggests that investigating simple back pain is unnecessary. A careful history and examination, if indicated, should exclude any serious cause.

Few treatments have been shown to benefit people with back pain.

Spinal manipulation has not been shown to be effective for chronic low back pain when compared with no treatment. Massage is likely to benefit people with chronic low back pain. But the evidence is weak and based on studies that might have had methodological flaws. There is better evidence for the benefits of exercise classes.

Acupuncture has not been shown to be effective for treating chronic low back pain.

Facet joint injections are likely to be ineffective or harmful.

We also don't know whether the following treatments are effective: electromyographic feedback, epidural steroid injections, lumbar supports, muscle relaxants, physical conditioning programmes, specific exercise regimens such as the McKenzie approach, and transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation.

Weight loss surprisingly does not reduce back pain but weight gain can aggravate a back ache.

General exercise appears to benefit people with chronic low back pain. There are some data, including cost analysis, supporting the use of an exercise class using cognitive behavioural principles.


Multidisciplinary treatment consisting of intensive physical and psychosocial training by a team often using a group approach, and avoiding passive physiotherapy, reduces pain and improves the day-to-day activity of patients with chronic back pain.

Few people who have been off work with back pain for more than six months ever return to work. Usually patients are worried about returning to work. Returning immediately after an acute back pain episode to full duties might cause their condition to deteriorate in the short term, reducing chances of returning fully to work. A supportive employer can help many people return to work.

Few therapies offered by outpatient physiotherapy departments as a uni-disciplinary treatment are likely to be effective for people with chronic back pain. But it might be worth considering a graded exercise programme, if your local physiotherapy department offers one.

In one study, 32% of patients who presented with back pain reconsulted within three months.21 The same study found that only 21% of those interviewed three months after seeing their GP with back pain were free from symptoms. The authors concluded: "Low back pain should be viewed as a chronic problem with an untidy pattern of grumbling symptoms and periods of relative freedom from pain and disability interspersed with acute episodes, exacerbations, and recurrences."

Surgical intervention is rarely indicated for chronic simple back pain. Understandably, few orthopaedic surgeons are interested in non-surgical management. Their time is probably better spent delivering treatments proved to be effective.

A systematic review found tricyclic antidepressants, but not SSRIs, to be moderately effective in the treatment of chronic low back pain in patients without depression.

Surprisingly paracetamol eight times a day is very effective in back ache!

A gondola ride in Chennai

I do have colourful dreams, sometimes even interactive dreams, but never in my bizarre dreams did I imagine that I would travel by boat inside Chennai city!

Ask me how this happened. I have a call at 9 am in the morning asking me to visit a kid of 7yrs who had a high temperature. I packed my bag and took out my vehicle and on reaching the area I could see water as far as my eyes could. Nearby on a lamp post was tethered a catamaran (boat) that was used by the residents of the area to ferry themselves across. Gosh! A few days back the thoroughfare to the apartment complex was dry and neat. Come the second spell of rains and it turns into a Venice. My area gets to the headlines each time for the wrong reasons when it rains.

I parked my vehicle on a dry spot on the main road and boarded the gondola;)))) This boat isnt rowed but pushed by two people from the behind and pulled by a person from the front. Kindly note, the people who help push the boat arent paid by anyone! They do it as a service and sometimes some Good Samaritan might hand them a ten buck note to meet their coffee/tea/snacks expenditure.

Inside the apartment complex, the water came upto my knees but somehow I managed to wade through the water and get to the flat and examined the kid and wrote out a prescription. The parents were so thankful that I arrived inspite of the inconvenience. A tsunami of satisfaction overcame me!