Most of us have experienced Shakespeare's “green-eyed monster”. In its intense forms, it is a horrible, tormenting obsession. At its height, it can lead to gruesome murder. If you still haven’t figured out what it is….it is jealousy.
There isn't a clear-cut distinction between jealousy and envy but, in general, jealousy is experienced when something you have (e.g. a lover) is taken away or is threatened by someone else.
Envy is when you do not measure up to someone else or you very much want something someone else has (e.g. an attractive lover, a sports car, success, a sexy build, etc.).
Rivalry is when no one yet possesses the thing you desire (a particular person or position or status) and there is keen competition for the desired goal. Obviously, all of these feelings increase as our desire--our desperation--for the “prize” increases. Jealousy is the most intense. It involves having something highly valued and losing it to the competition--that hurts, angers, and shames us.
It is INSECURITY that leads to jealousy. Some may object to this particular point because they believe that insecurity is necessarily pejorative. That's not what I mean by the word. (I'd love a better word, but I don't have one.) It could be that this lack of security is very well founded. Example that the partner is about to run off with ‘the other woman’. Is it okay to be bothered by that? Of course it is.
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