Two guys, called Joe and Dean, were fishermen. Every day, before dawn, they set out to sea with their crews, coming home late in the evening with their catches of fish.
Now, there was one particular area where they would cast their nets, because of a particular type of fish which was to be found there. This was a mutant type of fish which had no hearing apparatus.
These rare fish fetched a high price from the local marine biologists who liked to study them. Now, the area where Joe and Dean caught these fish was very difficult to reach, and involved long hours of sailing through treacherous waters, which Joe didn't like at all.
Well, one week, Joe didn't turn up for work at all, and when one of his crew went to Joe's house to find out what was wrong, Joe said, "I don't know what's wrong with
me. I'm feeling really tired and lethargic. I have no energy at all."
"Don't worry," said the crewman, "Dean has been putting all his catch of those mutant fish through as yours, so you will still have some money to pay our wages this week."
"Oh, no," said Joe. "That means that I will have to get over this feeling of exhaustion and go out to that awful bit of the sea next week, and all because ---I OWE DEAN DEAF FISH IN SEA." (Iodine deficiency)
While we are on fishes, have you heard about the Candiru?
Candiru: A tiny catfish of the Amazon basin that pisses people off.
(Note: The candiru is the fish to swim against a urine stream...)
The candiru, also called the carnero fish, is a tiny parasitic catfish that inhabits the waters of South America. They can reach lengths of 1-2.5 in (2.5-6 cm) with a width of 3.5 mm. Their diminutive size and nearly transparent body makes them very hard to locate (not that you would want to).
When candirus parasitize humans, it is usually only when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the anus and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on both the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood. This is all said to be very painful for the poor person who has this happen to him or her. Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to remove due to the spines. Amputation of the private areas is the cheapest, and most life-changing, way to remove the fish. Actual surgery is extremely expensive and involves inserting the Xagua plant and the Buitach apple up the urethra. These two plants kill and even dissolve the parasitic fish. If surgery is not done in time, the blockage of the urinary tract will prove fatal. The candiru is the only known vertebrate to parasitize humans.
"A Short History of Medicine"
I have an earache:
2000 B.C. -Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. -That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. -That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. -That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. -That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. -That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
Q: how do you tell the sex of chromosome?
A: Pull down it's genes
Life is a sexually transmitted disease;)))
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