Role of Elders and Parents

I would like to discuss the positive role of elders and parents in the shaping of adolescents. I have penned a few of my thoughts for your perusal.

I definitely would not be wrong if I say that home is where principles begin and the children involved in the not-so-pleasant act can very well take the liberty of pointing the finger at their parents for having committed a blunder.

Let me begin with an anecdote.

"I am sorry," she replied, "but I dont have time to join your organisation."

"Are you that busy?"

"As a matter of fact, I belong to another group whose president is my husband and I take care of most of the work. My work does not leave me any free time"

"Really? And what is the purpose of the organisation?"

"Its sphere of activity is very great. It is devoted to the promotion of good values in life and the education of children."

"What is the name of the organisation? I've never heard of it."

"That's quite possible. It is called family."

Adolescence is the effervescent stage where most communications go haywire and most parents find themselves in a quandry.

For a good number of teenagers, parents are old fashioned folks who do not understand anything of their interests and problems. Naturally, because of the generation gap, it is often difficult for parent sto realize that their teenagers are growing up and to stop treating them like kids. it becomes even more difficult to guide them.

One of the most positive signs that an adolescent is growing up is his increasing need to assert his independence and free from adult domination. At times, such self affirmation may take the form of rebellion against authority and set rules, but it is nevertheless an important and necessary step toward growth and maturity.

The teenager expresses himself inaccurately when he demands the freedom to do as he likes. In reality beyond his whims and fancies, he is seeking ture freedom, that freedom which allows him to decide by himself, to choose his actions, to do things on his own accord. This is something beautiful and without such freedom he would become a mechanical person.

While they seek greater independence, boys and girls do not understand why they are changing. They are surprised to see that their reactions are different from what they were before. Some are even worried about this and feel sorry to have lost the security of childhood. as they become more and more aware of the deep changes that are taking place in them, they are taken abcak and are led to close up on themselves: they will not speak to their parents or educators. But this attitude does not help them to solve the problems arising in their lives.

The most effective way of helping them resolve this would be is to encourage parents to keep a close contact with their teenagers and to develop an attitude of dialogue. At this juncture of the teens lives, they need a presence that listens, understands, helps and encourages. They want to be accepted as they are.

Any effort to educate adolescents in their growth to maturity demands that they be not overprotected. On the other hand, there should not be any abdication of authority on the part of the parents that would allow their teenagers to forge a false freedom from mere whims, impulses and instincts.

An authentic growth to maturity demands that the youth relinquish certain childhood securities and accept the risk of making mistakes. It also supposes receptiveness to what obedience requires.

It also requires on the part of parents, the proper balance between allowing ample opportunities for the exercise of independence, initiative and creativity on the one hand, and providing sufficient guidance, inspiration and security on the other. It is by looking at everything that is positive and taking into account the legitimate aspirations of their wards that parents will be better able to discuss and dialogue with them. They can demand, advise and if necessary forbid, once they are sure that they are in agreement with the good side in them.

Correct me if I am wrong and dont forget to add your POV's also.